RDT Reviews The Simpsons Season One (1989-1990)

October 24, 2020 RDTUniverse

I’ve decided to repost my review from my old site for this. I originally reviewed season one in 2016.

We’re looking to review every single season of the Simpsons…but doing a short review of EVERY single episode. Each episode will get a grade, as will each season. First, a little preview.

Season 1

The Tracey Ullman Show was one of Fox’s earliest programs as it had recently taken off with Married…With Children. The Simpsons was an animated short, or bumper, in-between segments and commercials during the program. With Fox still looking to add content as a fledging network, the Simpsons would get spun-off into its own show. There were production problems early on as some of the animation looked terrible for the intended series opener (which in turn became the season finale, “Some Enchanted Evening”). The series began much later than expected and with a Christmas Special (intended to be the eighth episode in the series).

Episode 1 (1) – Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire

In a lot of ways this is a classic despite that a lot of peak Simpsons’ traits are absent here. There’s no crazy version of Homer, he wouldn’t really appear for a few more seasons. Instead Homer’s just a normal man trying to make his family happy for Christmas. He’s relatable in that sense. And while that version of Homer isn’t what made the character famous, it does work. We establish a lot of main and side characters here, which is quite impressive for a 23 minute episode. Bart does no less than three things that show he’s the bad boy, a character that carried early Simpsons seasons (those three things are ruining the school play, getting a tattoo and pulling “Santa’s” beard). Lisa has her moment as well when she defends her father against her aunts, using a detailed explanation that clearly seems advanced for an 8 year old. Marge shows to be the kind hearted matriarch of the family, and even gets a good moment herself (where she hides the Christmas money). Flanders, Mr. Burns and Barney also provide a lot in their few moments. Flanders becomes the neighbor that Homer sizes himself up against…and fails miserably in doing so. Mr. Burns says one thing and you already get an idea of the kind of boss he is. And Barney is, well Barney. There’s a lot here and it’s a great episode as a result. It’s just a bit jarring when you know what’s coming in the seasons ahead.

Grade: A

Episode 2 (2) – Bart the Genius

We learn a lot about Bart here and get to see him interact in the school environment. It’s pretty amazing that characters like Ms. Krabappel and Martin Prince didn’t really change much at all in regards to their core identities. Same goes for Principal Skinner in some respects, although he would become a much great source of comedy later on. While the strength of the episode lies within Homer being proud of Bart’s discovered intellect, the rest of the characters and episode falls flat a bit. It also isn’t drawn all that well either. There are a few great gags in there though (like Homer giving Bart his tie). There’s nothing really wrong with “Bart the Genius”, but it doesn’t really stand out either.

Grade: B-

Episode 3 (3) – Homer’s Odyssey

“Homer’s Odyssey” is the weakest episode so far, although that could be because it was the very first episode written. There are only a few highlights here, mostly centered around Bart and his antics. He provides an entertaining first few minutes and we also get the first prank call to Moe. Once Homer is fired from the Plant, the story takes a nosedive. Homer goes from being depressed and nearly committing suicide to realizing his purpose in life is to make sure Springfield is safe. This all results in Homer getting a new position at the Plant, Nuclear Safety Technician. While it’s funny that Homer (correctly) thinks to himself that he’s grossly underqualified for the position, the whole idea of course is silly in future seasons when we see Homer at work. Nonetheless that can’t be held against the episode as it was the first one written afterall. What can be held against the episode is that Homer’s story isn’t much and the episode suffers for it. On the bright side, we did get the first prank call to Moe from Bart and the first instance of Mr. Burns not knowing who Homer is, both of which would become two long running gags.

Grade: C

Episode 4 (4) – There’s No Disgrace Like Home

Another weak episode here, even weaker than “Homer’s Odyssey”. The entire episode is based around Homer feeling that his family is dysfunctional. Homer as the moral center of the family, a position Marge would usually be in, just feels odd and doesn’t work. While there’s a few solid jokes in this one, there’s really not much else. The fact that the family bonds because they are deemed too unfit for Dr. Marvin Monroe pales in comparison to the stories of the first three episodes. It’s also jarring a bit to see Lisa being as much a troublemaker as Bart. On the plus side, Itchy and Scratchy make their debuts here so there’s that.

Grade: D

Episode 5 (5) – Bart the General

A truly great episode as it foreshadows what made the Simpsons great. While we start off with another standard family story; Bart defending her sister and getting beaten up by a bully as the result, the conclusion is ridiculously over the top that it’s great. We get introduced to Nelson Muntz, who would become one of the most popular recurring characters. We also get introduced to Herman, who while having a big and entertaining role here isn’t used nearly as much in the future. Grampa Simpson is also here and has some funny moments, although like Homer he isn’t in peak form yet. With that being said everyone gets their moments, and Bart clearly breaks out as a star here. I’m pretty sure every 10 year old felt like and wanted to be like Bart after this one.

Grade: A

Episode 6 (6) – Moaning Lisa

Your opinion of this episode will probably be based on whether or not you like the Lisa Simpson character. We learn a lot about Lisa and how much playing the sax means to her. When she meets Bleeding Gums Murphy, a memorable character in his own right, Lisa finally finds someone she can connect with. The result of her arc here has a satisfying conclusion for sure. It’s a bit unfortunate though that the side story involving Bart and Homer steals the episode. Homer and Bart face off in video boxing, which reaches a funny conclusion in itself. We also learn a little bit about Marge and how she was raised. Overall a really good episode with memorable characters…but if you don’t like Lisa you may not like it. There’s a scene with Maggie that made me laugh out loud as well.

Grade: A-

Episode 7 (7) – The Call of the Simpsons

Pretty much everything that made the Simpsons great is here. The first third of the episode, where Homer looks to upend Flanders by buying a nice RV than him, is pure gold. The Simpsons getting stuck in the wild perfectly captures all the Simpsons and even gives us a glimpse of the crazy, insane Homer we get in future seasons. Maggie too has some highlights. Everything works in “The Call of the Simpsons”. The last act can’t be forgotten, where Homer is mistaken for Bigfoot! Of course hilarity ensues there too. Best episode so far and again, all the pieces that made the Simpsons such a great show in its first 10 years are here.

Grade: A+

Episode 8 (8) – The Telltale Head

This is yet another classic Simpsons episode, as well as another that primarily focuses on Bart. It does employ one of my favorite storytelling devices, a frame story beginning in media res. You see Homer and Bart with the head of the town founder Jebadiah Springfield and an angry mob looking to kill them. How the heck did we get here? Bart tells us what happens and it’s little more than a tale of a young boy succumbing to peer pressure and doing something stupid to fit in and be popular. The episode definitely continued to push Bart as the star of the show, and no doubt kids watching probably related with him (something the first season of the Simpsons has done quite well with Homer and Bart). There are some good moments too, Homer in church is definitely a highlight as well as the tormenting of the poor Sunday School teacher with ridiculous questions about who gets to heaven. We also see some characters for the first time (Apu, Krusty, Jimbo, Kearney, Reverend Lovejoy) which is cool, although we only get anything substantial with the bullies. With that being said for a classic episode it feels a little flat. The tone is closer to “Bart the Genius” than the greatness we got in the last few episodes. I also think the characters highlighted in the mob were a bit odd. I get Mr. Burns would care, but seeing him in this angry mob alongside the Skinner’s and Abe Simpson’s of the world felt off. Good, but not great episode.

Grade: B

Episode 9 (9) – Life on the Fast Lane

This is the first time we get an episode that focuses on Marge’s character. Her love for Homer is tested after Homer buys her a selfish birthday gift that he intends to use for himself (a bowling ball engraved with the name “Homer”). She decides to spite him and use it herself. She ends up catching the eye of Jacques, a professional bowler who clearly wants something romantic with Marge. The story is fine, although the actually conclusion seems undeserved from Homer’s perspective and that’s a major gripe from me. Homer doesn’t correct his wrongdoing or anything. He just fears his marriage is falling apart and he doesn’t offer much to fix it. So things working out for them solely works because of Marge’s love for Homer and her family. I suppose that’s great characterization for Marge but it feels so undeserved. Perhaps if there were more scenes with her and Bart and Lisa I’d buy it more. Interestingly the producers spoke about how female fans of the series were frustrated with the conclusion. I can understand why. With that all being said this episode still gets a good mark simply because of its moments and the performance of Albert Brooks as Jacques. The moment Homer unveils his gift for Marge is a great sequence. Marge’s dream about Jacques is visually amazing, especially considering this is still season 1 animation. Jacques is voiced in such an over the top way it’s nothing short of brilliant.

Grade: B+

Episode 10 (10) – Homer’s Night Out

There’s not much to this one. Homer gets caught dancing with an exotic belly dancer by Bart’s spy camera and Marge is furious. There’s ultimately a good lesson to be learned here about women not being treated as objects but other than that and a little of Bart’s mischief it’s a forgettable episode. Also, if you’re following each episode as a chronological story (which…it’s probably best not to) it’s really disappointing to see Homer in this spot after Life on the Fast Lane and the choice Marge made. There aren’t many laughs here either. Bart and his spy camera pretty much take up the good scenes and other than that and Carl’s debut (with a much different voice) this episode is just there.

Grade: C

Episode 11 (11) – The Crepes of Wrath

“The Crepes of Wrath” is a strange episode that foreshadows some of the over the top plots we’d get in future Simpsons episodes. In order to get rid of him for a few months, Principal Skinner comes up with the idea of sending Bart to France in a foreign exchange program. Homer’s fed up with Bart as well, so he and Skinner are both excited to send him off. The Simpsons get an exchange student in return who seems quite perfect. Bart’s side of the story takes an ugly turn as he’s forced into child labor which paints Bart as a sympathy figure who saves the day in France. Meanwhile it turns out the student the Simpsons got back is a spy for another country. Neither side is particularly entertaining other than Homer not realizing he’s giving a spy tons of blueprints and plans to “an unfriendly country”. Also in Homer’s case, these last three episodes showed a really disappointing turn in Homer’s lack of commitment to his family, especially from what we saw in the first few episodes. There are some high points for sure here though, basically all before the two stories come together. Bart’s prank on Skinner’s mother continued that bad boy image that made Bart a star. And, as we’ll get to in later seasons, slapstick violence on Homer Simpson just seems to be money and we get a little bit of that here. I can’t say I liked this episode though. It gets a little bit of a bonus for what I said about foreshadowing over the top storylines in the future though.

Grade: C+

Episode 12 (12) – Krusty Gets Busted

From a theoretical sense this episode probably isn’t considered to be that great. Other than a few moments (the moment Homer sees Krusty in the Kwik E Mart for example) it’s not really an episode played for laughs and the only characters who really get any screen time are Bart, Lisa, Krusty and Sideshow Bob. With that being said who cares! There’s a really good story here and a well done mystery as well. If you were watching it for the first time you can figure out what happened pretty quickly in regards to the crime. Both Krusty and Sideshow Bob are memorable characters right out of the gate and we also establish one of the great rivalries of the Simpsons that’s still being used today: Bart vs. Sideshow Bob.

Grade: A-

Episode 13 (13) – Some Enchanted Evening

This was supposed to be the Series Premiere as opposed to the Season Finale and it shows. The first season of the Simpsons really developed as it went on and as a result “Some Enchanted Evening” feels out of place. That’s not to say some things don’t work because they definitely do. Bart and Lisa’s prank calls to Moe are always good for a laugh and Ms. Botz is an entertaining antagonist. Everything else misses though. We already had two episodes focusing on Homer and Marge’s marriage and for the most part those episodes were stronger.

Grade: C

Season Review

To be honest I found the 1^st season of the Simpsons to be stronger than I remembered it. It’s rather impressive that so many characters that appeared in the season stayed true to their original selves. The only real changes you see over time is like to Moe, who really just becomes a more involved character, and others like Carl Carlson who just needed an identity. The template for the Simpsons peak that would take place over the next nine or ten years was set in stone here. You just have to weave through some of the growing pains too.

Grade: B+

Disney, MCU, Movies, RDT Reviews

RDT Reviews Iron Man (2008)

October 22, 2020 RDTUniverse

The Marvel Cinematic Universe completely changed the game when it comes to big box office comic book films. Catching DC Comics are the right time as it was committed to the Dark Knight Trilogy. Despite The Dark Knight being the arguable greatest comic book film of all time, Marvel took the opportunity to begin a shared universe between the characters it still had the movie rights too. DC wouldn’t be able to begin theirs five years later, and DC was forced to play catch-up. (Yes, Iron Man did come out about two months before The Dark Knight, but the point stands.)

Grading super hero films comes at a bit of a different curve. Super hero films get a bit of a break because at times things happen (or should happen) in the film that happen because of a specific comic book storyline. Certain characters sometimes don’t need an introduction for the same reason. If you aren’t a fan of comic book films, you probably would disagree with all of these grades. With that being said, comic book films also invite comparison to themselves. Lastly, films within a shared universe can have their grade affected by how they treat storylines established by other films in the universe.

Released: May 2, 2008

First Seen: DVD, After I saw Avengers (Late 2012)

Last Watch: Disney+

It’s amazing that the very beginning discussions of the Marvel Cinematic Universe began as far back as 2000 (talks of this film go back even further, to 1990). Ted McCanlies, a writer for the film when it was being produced for New Line in 2000, looked to add Nick Fury in a cameo role in the film to lead to a film of his (McCanlies) own. Just really cool to see those seeds planted so early on. Also interesting in early pre-production is that New Line was on the clock to getting the an Iron Man film out in order to not lose the film rights (which had bounced from Universal to 20th Century Fox to New Line), but New Line couldn’t get it done and as 2005 Marvel retained full rights. There are so many what-ifs with that entire scenario that someone needs to do a youtube documentary or something.

I had actually reviewed this in 2015 on my old site after I re-watched the film last night. Funny enough, I don’t have much to add to what I wrote then and I feel pretty much the same way. So for anyone who remembers my original Iron Man review, I apologize for the lack of originality here.

The first twenty (really fourty) minutes of Iron Man is absolutely fantastic. We quickly learn who Tony Stark is, how he is viewed by others (he absolutely intimidates other soldiers by his mere presence), and once he’s captured, why he decides to become Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is so strikingly perfect that you’d think Stark was created just so Downey could play him. Another what-if to throw in the MCU bag: what if Robert Downey Jr. didn’t get his life together and didn’t get a chance to play Tony Stark? Would the MCU have been able to reach the heights that it did? By the time Tony escapes his captives, we completely understand why he takes the path he does to become Iron Man. It’s worth noting that the MCU would have very strong minor supporting characters throughout it’s history, and Shaun Toub’s Ho Yinsen is a great start to that legacy. The first half of the film is one of the all-time best origin stories for a superhero film.

On the other side of the coin, midway through the film it’s revealed that Jeff Bridges’ Obadiah Stane is the real mastermind behind Tony Stark getting kidnapped in the opening. While I think Bridges does a good job as Stane, I don’t love how the character is written. He’s not horrible or anything, but he goes from business man to cartoon villain pretty quickly once it’s revealed. I’d even go as far to say he’s rather cringeworthy in the final battle with some horrible one liners. With that being said I still think he’s pretty good overall. Just written somewhat poorly.

Before Stane turned into an absolute cartoon…

Iron Man does a great job with it’s supporting cast too. While this is the only appearance of Terrence Howard’s Col. James Rhodes, I find him to be fine. Gwyneth Paltrow as Pepper Potts is almost as perfectly cast as Stark is with Downey. The chemistry they have from pretty much the first instance they are on-screen together is perfect. Other minor characters such as S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Phil Caulson are fun (Caulson is actually involved in the film much more than I remembered).

Some extra notes about Iron Man before I wrap up. Because Disney hadn’t owned the Marvel movie rights yet, you’ll notice Iron Man is darker than later MCU installments (well, for a while). I wonder if they were doing that based off the success of Batman Begins and the upcoming Dark Knight. Obviously the MCU switched directions and that worked better. I want to bring up Obadiah Stane again, because while I do think considering everything he’s a good villain, I’m still disappointed with the overall direction of the character. I also of course need to point out end credits sequence teasing the Avengers. Talk about something to get hyped over.

Best Scene: There are a lot of choices here, but I’ll go with Iron Man going back to the place of his capture and gaining a little revenge. It’s the first time we see the Iron Man we now all know and love in action and it’s pretty awesome.

Worst Scene: Once Obadiah is outed as the bad guy, he makes it a point to visit Tony and explain the whole plan to him with that stupid paralyzer weapon (never seen again in the MCU). It’s unnecessary and quite cliché.

Personal Story: It was odd seeing this after The Avengers and never on the big screen. Boy was I missing out.

Final Thoughts: Pretty great start to Iron Man and the MCU as a whole.

Grade: A

Disney, Movies, RDT Reviews

RDT Reviews The Lion King (1994) and The Lion King (2019)

October 20, 2020 RDTUniverse

Disney’s live-action remakes have led to mixed reviews at best. Looking to cash in on nostalgia, Disney decided to release perhaps their greatest films in a live action setting. If the goal is to makemoney, it’s working as most of the live-action remakes have crossed the $1 Billion mark. Does it mean they’ve all been great films? Well, we’ll get to that…

Released: June 15, 1994

First Seen: In Theaters (Summer of 1994)

Last Watch: Disney+

This is the big one. Disney had done an incredible (and profitable) job rehabilitating it’s brand in the five years prior. The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin all garnered critical acclaim and made big money. Those three films are so good that they re-invented the animated film genre. Would Lion King be a worthy follow-up? Well, sorry to spoil the review, but yes, yes it would.

The Lion King would smash the box office. It probably feels obvious that having a film full of cute animal characters in animated form would be easy money so there’s no surprise here. What really helps The Lion King though is just how memorable the main characters are. Twenty-six years later we still remember James Earl Jones’ voice as Mufasa. We remember Scar singing “Be Prepared”. We remember Simba and Nala as young children and when they reunited under “Can You Feel The Love Tonight”. Even the supporting characters are pretty strong and entertaining. Rafiki, Timon, Pumba, Zazu and the Hyenas are all remembered to this day.

Also, in terms of animation this is arguably the greatest looking film of all time, considering when it was released. Now I may be somewhat biased as the Disney+ version isn’t the very original version we saw 26 years ago, but I’ve seen enough videos on that to stand by that statement. It’s strikingly beautiful. Something else that the visuals really hit is that The Lion King is big. The opening scene while “Circle Of Life” plays shows the vast African horizon is one of the most iconic openings in cinema history. Early on you see Scar’s foot come down on a mouse and it’s huge. And don’t get me started on the stampede, which really needs to be seen in theatres to be truly appreciated.

While The Lion King isn’t based on a classic fairy tale as past Disney animated films are, it still tells a familiar story (especially to Shakespeare’s Hamlet). I find it interesting that Disney didn’t stick to a formulaic Disney princess line after Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. It went right ahead and tried different things with Aladdin and Lion King. The combination of cute animals + movie not jut for girls + deep story clearly works. So despite that it feels like Hamlet, The Lion King actually feels fresh and original.

Earlier I wrote that the film looked big, but it also sounds big. The songs with the accompanying visuals are loud, colorful and big. “Circle of Life”, “Can’t Wait to Be King”, “Be Prepared” and “Hakuna Matata” are all in your face songs and classics to this day. The only emotional song is “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” (well, and the Stampede Instrumental) but that’s great too. The Stampede Instrumental is the hidden gem of the music though. Hans Zimmer truly is a musical genius.

stampede lion king — Needs to be seen on the big screen to really feel how big this movie is…

The voice acting is actually hit or miss for me. James Earl Jones is obviously iconic as Mufasa, and I’m a fan of Jeremy Irons as Scar. I think Jonathan Taylor Thomas does really well as young Simba in the film’s most emotional moments. I also like Whoopi Goldberg as Shenzi. Otherwise, I don’t really think much of the voice acting. I actually don’t care at all for Nathan Lane as Timon, or Ernie Sabella as Pumbaa…but that may be because I don’t care for the characters either. Matthew Broderick as Adult Simba also feels forgettable other than one scene. The reasons for this are two fold. The first one we will get to in a moment, and the second is he has to basically live up to Jones as Mufasa and quite frankly that’s some big shoes to fill.

I believe you can split The Lion King into two parts (and frankly am almost surprised Disney didn’t try to milk us with two films with the remakes). The first part is the opening through Mufasa’s death. To me this half of the film to me is up there with the greatest work ever put up on the big screen. It’s fun, it’s emotional, it has great characters. The bond between Simba and Mufasa is perfectly crafted. The music is awesome. It’s especially hard to not be emotionally invested at the very end of this half. It’s a complete masterpiece.

One of the most emotional scenes ever put to film…

Then The Lion King really takes a dip in quality. I know that may not be a popular opinion, but we leave this emotional and gripping story to watch Simba pal it up with Timon and Pumbaa while Scar takes control of Pride Rock. While I understood why Simba ran (Scar made it seem like the whole thing was Simba’s fault), as I got older I never really connected with Simba here. As he gets older it never hit him that he deserted his mother, his friends and I find that to be complicated but also a bit horrible. Not sure, Simba clearly doesn’t think Scar is a horrible person and thinks Pride Rock is still fine, but I can’t really draw the emotional connection between Simba and his mother and Simba and Nala. I get that the Hakuna Matata part of the film is for kids and such, probably to get them to stop crying after seeing Mufasa dead on the big screen (which was jarring to me as a kid). I truthfully don’t recall how I felt back then. Scar is no better. Scar goes from a clever, conniving and sarcastic villain to an absolute whiner. Whether it’s asking Zazu to sing tor complaining about the lioness’ ineffectiveness at hunting, the Scar of the first half is clearly gone for whatever this is. The only part that really gets me back into things in the second half of course is the Mufasa in the clouds scene and the very ending is solid (although, Simba’s family seems to just let Scar walk Simba off a cliff, which is a direct slap in the face of the message of confronting your past).

The Disney Renaissance peaked here. Lion King made all the money and if Youtube existed back then “Hakuna Matata” would have been as popular as “Let It Go”. This was obviously the big success for Disney in the 90s. I actually find it curious that they went back to human-like characters to tell future stories.

Best Scene: Gotta go with two: The entire “Be Prepared” sequence is so ridiculously over the top it’s incredible and the Stampede is one of the greatest scenes in cinema history.

Worst Scene: Hearing Scar whine and complain once he was in charge is such a let down. Making Zazu sing songs? What the heck happened?

Personal Story: I don’t really have one. Hearing “The Morning Report” through in a future special edition almost made me sick though.

Final Thoughts: This is half an S film and half a B. I actually find it to be the weakest of the big four, although I give different credit to The Little Mermaid.

Grade: A-

Released: July 19, 2019

First Seen: In Theaters, Near Opening Night

Last Watch: Disney+

When reviewing Aladdin we went over Disney’s motivations for making these live-action remakes. I’ve generally found the remakes to be somewhat better than public perception. That changed with The Lion King.

There were two common critiques with 2019’s Lion King. The first is that it is a shot by shot remake. I don’t really understand this. While I think it takes much less chances and makes much less changes than the other Disney remakes had, there are still many moments different here than the original. Unfortunately, most of these changes are pretty bad. While I could compile a list, I’ll point out the three worst examples. For one, “Be Prepared” is absolutely butchered (while I still enjoy the scene for different reasons, not having the song and the original scene with it is still a massive downgrade). I find it odd that this decision was made as there are still other songs that remained in the film (also, clearly Chiwetel Ejiofor can sing, as evidenced by what was left of “Be Prepared”). Second, Rafiki in the original tells Simba that “the past can hurt, you can either run from it, or, learn from it”. It’s an iconic line that precedes the scene where Mufasa appears in the clouds. For some reason that’s removed which is quite mind-boggling to me. Third, there whole entire visual representation of the circle of life ends up being a 3 minute expedition of Simba’s fur going through various situations, one of which being rolled into a ball of dung. Language warning here: but I said outloud in the theatre “what the fuck am I watching?” (definitely felt bad because children were in the theater, although I got a laugh and no complaints from other crowd members).

I didn’t even get to the second critique, which was that the film seemed lifeless. And well, yes. Yes it does and it’s distracting. It also ruins any appreciation for the voice acting (which, despite an all-time stellar cast somehow ends up as completely forgettable, even James Earl Jones can’t save it). It also ruins some of the more heart-wrenching moment of the film. In another clearly audible moment I laughed pretty hard at Simba yelling “NOOOOO!” when his father died. It’s done ridiculously bad and it’s truly an embarrassing feat that Disney even put that on the big screen. This critique also puts forth another question. Why did Disney decided to do this film as photo-realistic? Yes, it’s called the live-action Lion King and even I referred to it as that, but other than some shots this film is completely animated. The insistence to have this film be “realistic” when it’s animated is a bizarre choice artistically to say the least. I mean where are the colors? Pride Rock looks lifeless on it’s best shots. Again, this is animated, so what the heck happened? Africa is one of the most beautiful places in the world!

I don’t really have much else to say about the characters or the vioce acting that I haven’t already (again, the look of the film totally distracts from it). Scar is more intimidating but also bland and boring. I actually like Timon and Pumbaa a little bit more. I got some laughs this time from Billy Eichner’s Timon, especially with the “Be Our Guest” bit. Beyonce and Donald Glover amazingly are both forgettable, and “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” doesn’t hold up to the original. John Oliver as Zazu unfortunately is more annoying than funny (which really disappointed me as an Oliver fan). The great James Earl Jones can’t save his scenes either for the previously mentioned visual issues. I do like Chiwetel Ejiofor as Scar as Scar does come off as more vicious, but I don’t like him nearly enough to really make a difference.

Look, I know a wrote a lot more about Aladdin, but there I felt like that needed more of a defense. Quite frankly, the 2019 version of The Lion King sucks. I get that it hit a lot of people on that nostalgic level, trust me, I’ve been there. But my feeling when I left the theater was that I was offended Disney even released the film. The original Lion King was an animated masterpiece, full of striking colors and amazing character designs. And the story ranged on good to amazingly great. This was just an insulting money grab. Unfortunately, because it worked we’re getting a sequel. I didn’t feel this way about Aladdin, Alice in Wonderland, Beauty and the Beast or The Jungle Book. I thought all of those were goodish or at least brought something to the table (yes, that’s my defense of Alice). This didn’t do any of that and it’s a shame.

I didn’t want to end this on a completely negative note, so I will praise two things about the film. One, Hans Zimmer somehow came up with a stronger Stampede instrumental, which insane considering the original is one of the greatest pieces of music to ever hit the big screen (and well now this is). Find it on Youtube and watch it. I also have come to appreciate the version of “Be Prepared” in this film. No, it doesn’t hold a candle to the original and apparently it was added last minute. But it’s still a strong scene. Lastly, Disney has been looking to give women characters stronger roles overall. You see it especially in the remakes, and while I am all for it it’s admittedly hard to make it work with the original story (the issues with Jasmine becoming Sultan in Aladdin, for example). Here Nala is given a little more screen time as she takes initiative into escaping the Scar led Pride Rock to find help. I find that to be a positive change for sure and at least adds some character for her. Sarabi and Shenzi also have a bit of a feud which isn’t expanded upon, but again at least it’s something different and not detrimental to the film or the vision of the original.

Best Scene: Actually going to go with the “Be Prepared” scene. One of the only times I felt anything regarding emotion in this film (yes, that even includes Mufasa’s death, Simba’s scream ruined that).

Worst Scene: The three minute scene of Simba’s fur getting to Rafiki. Some of it is fine for visual reasons, but I didn’t need to see giraffe dung rolled by a beetle to get my nostalgia going. I don’t understand at all why that’s in the film.

Personal Story: Not much to say here. The original Lion King wasn’t one of my favorite films and I’m still offended by this. What should that tell you.

Final Thoughts: $1.6 Billion. Money talks. This is Disney now. It’s not the worst film I’ve ever seen or anything so there’s that, but I wish Lion King fans were more frustrated and frankly not sucked in by nostalgia here. We’d get better results. But I can’t blame Disney. This will certainly pay for other projects and that’s how it goes.

Grade: D